(fanfic) His and Her's Letters by Kim Hyun Joong

This was written by Kim Hyun Joong himself. Thanks to acasamonte@tumblr.com for posting this. As she said, this is worth reading and I find myself laughing the whole time I was reading this. I knew then that KHJ wrote about him and Jung Min, a fanfic about love. An intentional joke with Jung Min and coz he was bored and nothing to do in Japan at that time, but I never had the chance to read this before. Personally, I find KHJ's sense of humor really good to have had written such a story like this one. :))

Enjoy reading...

cre: acasamonte@tumblr.com

For those who are not able to read this, this is a story written by Hyun Joong himself when they were having activities in Japan.  He mentioned in one interview that he was so bored because all his friends were in Korea , so he decided to dabble in writing.

written in Hangul by Kim Hyun Joong

translation by MUISH @ SOOMPI

PART 1

His and Her Letters

Hello, Jungmin-ssi.Before I knew, I became 36 years old already.I… mmmm……

Since I debuted when I was 20, 16 years have already passed.

Thinking of it now, it’s quite funny.It was when I was a kid that I met you.. I mean.The day Jungmin-ssi first met me..

That was June 8th, one summer day.

It was my first day of debut

and Jungmin was a girl from Ilsan.

I was so nervous that I said I’m going to bathroomand went to the bathroom but the performance was at night

so I had to walk into a dark corridor.

And then I had to keep walking in the darkand Jungmin-ssi’s skin was really black

so I thought there wasn’t anyone and ended up kissing you.

I think that’s when Jungmin-ssi started following me around.

It’s really… a weird fate, isn’t it??

Thinking on it now,

I think Jungmin was a very innocent child.

To think, just because of that reason, for 16 years

You’re still standing in front of my house….

hhhhhhhh (like creepy snickering…sleep.gif)

At the time, I was a popular idol

and now there’s only Jungmin-ssi left.

I’m nobody nowand I’m thankful that Jungmin-ssi still wait for me in front of the house

And I wonder sometimes… What’s so likeable about me..

To Jungmin-ssi,

What do you like so much about me?????

It’s really funny the way people meet….

kkkkkkkkk

Ah!!!! In 2007

Do you remember when I went to Japan???

To expand to Japan…At that time Jungmin-ssi told me not to go at the airport..And took out the screw of the airplane wheel

So the take off got 5 hours delayed…

At the time, we were really young kidsBut now you’ve become a fat middle aged woman.. and me too.

ahhhhhhh.

When I think of that time… It makes me laugh

And so I think of it whenever I’m feeling down.

The reason I’m suddenly writing this letter

Is because I feel bad that you’re still waiting for me in front of the house.

Honestly, I’m not a good writer

and this is the first time I’m writing a letter like this so it’s awkward.

I’m not a good writer so I’ll stop here.

My last fan Jungmin-ssi…..I got the belt you sent me yesterday.

I needed a belt so thank you for giving it to me as a present.

I’ll stop here.Your eternal celebrity

Kim Hyun Joong…..

I’ll leave my autograph in the mailbox every day….

Sending you the 4567th autograph..

Her Letter

Oppa… I mean, Hyunjoong. I’m quite old

and unemployed so I always feel guilty that I’m lying to you.

But my heart still beats fast when I see you.

Why does it do that??????

Yesterday I sent a belt through Young Saeng. I don’t know if you got it well.I wonder if Young Saeng gave it to you.

I’m worried but I trust you got it. kkkk.

I know I don’t look that way but in truth…

I’m 64 years old. Isn’t that amazing????

I try to look young

and tell people I’m 21 but people don’t believe me…

I guess you can’t lie about your age..

Sigh……………………………………………

Since you don’t like long letters, I’ll stop here. Bye.Please be cool Hyunjoong in the future… kkkkkYour eternal fan Jungmin…………………………….And thank you for the autograph.

________________________________________________________________________

PART 2

His and Her Letters

Hello Jungmin-ssi.I’ve done photoshoots since the morning today and looking at the pictures that came outJungmin-ssi was in all the photos in front of me.

When were you sitting in front of me with that smirk????

As expected, Jungmin-ssi is scary…. hhhh

I’m going to Korea this week.

You’re not following me again, are you????

I know it all. The daily dissing and torturing of

Hyungjoon is just so you won’t get caught as a fan, right?

I know it all so why don’t you try torturing someone else?

Mmmm….. Kyujong?????Youngsaeng?????Since it doesn’t like you’ll torture me since you like me…

I’ll give up on that..

Ah!!!You can sleep without ear plugs and eye covers now.Because I’m going to be moving.To a room that’ll take about… 19 seconds to walk from Jungmin-ssi’s room.So I guess I can’t play the guitar that Jungmin-ssi likes for you anymore.

Please don’t cry because I’m moving.

Gasp!!! Even now, you were watching me from behind me.In panic I changed the browser window…..Fortunately, you didn’t see me write.If you saw it, you would have hit me again because you like me too much. – -I’ll stop writing now..Ah! And I’ll give the belt back to you.

It was too big because it was previous used by Jungmin-ssi.

Your celebrity, Kim Hyunjooong.

Hers.

Hello, Hyunjoong-ssi.It’s me Jungmin. Even just now, I ate and then went to your room.

And then I panicked and closed the door for you without saying anything.

Before, instead of eating at the table togetherI ate on my own in the room while on the computer, right?There were 16 pieces of chickenAnd I wanted attention so I said I’ll just take a little bit

and took just the 6 drumsticks. I’m sorry.

Before Kyujong and Hyungjoon and YoungsaengI wanted to get Hyunjoong-ssi to eat first.So I separated out the meats and put them in the contact lenses.

Eat lots and practice hard.

Ah!! I gave you the wrong belt.That’s the one I was using before

So it’s probably 56 inches… I’m sorry.

Ah~~ I’m slowly becoming hungry..

I should eat soon. What should I eat?

I guess I’ll have a simple meal of 24 sushi

and 4 ramen and 56 dumplings.

It’s not really enough but since it’s late at night… I’ll get fat.Bye.

________________________________________________________________________

PART 3

His and Her Letters

Ah~~~ Long time no see.

You’ve been well, right?????

I’ve been to Korea.Since I came back after about…. 5 years…Mmm… I’m sorry.

Have you been well for the 5 years??

I secretly got married in Korea.I knew that if I got married in Japan, Jungminssi would burn the wedding hall.I know Jungmin-ssi is the kind of person who would even put on fire

the Korean Gas Association’s main office when she’s angry…

I’m on the plane going to Japan with my wife.

Ah! I’m sorry but I moved the home in Japan.To somewhere Jungmin-ssi doesn’t know. In case you already found outI temporarily prepared two houses.

So I can run away at any moment. I know you’re angry.

But under the tuxedo at the wedding

I wore the belt that Jungmin-ssi gave me… so forgive me.

I’ll pray that Jungmin-ssi would also meet someone nice and live a happy life.I’ll stop here… and this may be the last letter……

Since I’ve now become the core of a family……..

But still your eternal oppa.

Hers.

^^Don’t worry.I went to Korea too and went to the wedding. ^^At the beginning I was a little sad and cried every dayand didn’t eat and stuffBut now I’ve snapped out of it and diligently dug for gas in Dubai

And now I’ve really~~~~~

become a billionaire.

Now I’m in the business of selling weapons to U.S. and Russia.

In the shed at my home I have tanks and.. Mmmm.. What else was there….Tomahawk missiles and AK rifles and mmmm….. stuff

Hummers and anyway, there are lots of toys like these.

Ah! In the swimming pool,

I have Aegis Combat system and aircraft carriers.. Hehe.

To have collected all these things… I must have become immature in my old age.

________________________________________________________________________

PART 4

His and Her Letters

This may be just coincidentalBut I accidentally fired the Tomahawk missile

And a house in Nagoya blew up. T.T

But coincidentally the owner’s name was Kim Hyunjoong-ssi.

I’m sorry…. I’ll pay for the damages.

And one more thing!!! What’s even more amazing is that coincidentally,the person moving to the house next to me also

has the life of Kim Hyunjoong.. Really.. amazing, amazing.

So I think I’ll follow around that person who’s moving beside me.

Hyunjoong-ssi. Have a happy life in Korea.

Don’t worry about me…..

Goodbye my love…

I should go and buy more sniper rifles.Bye…~~ I’ll be back after shopping~~~

________________________________________________________________________

PART 5 – LAST PART

One day in year 2060… The World War 3 seemed to have started.

Centered somewhere in Japan…

His Diaries..

Ah… Where could this be? After regaining consciousnessafter hearing the explosion and the house collapsedThe TV that was on faintly said that World War 3 has started and then turned off.Where could my wife be..?Ah~~~~~~~~ I really don’t know what’s going on.I need to get out through that hole that I see 400 meters above me… but there’s nothing.

All I have for food is the 100 boxes of ramen that I’ve hidden… What should I do?

Year 2060, April 3rd.

It’s been one week. The sound of explosions still continue above me.So that I won’t forget the passing of time, I will record the days and write diaries.

I will survive for sure.

Year 2062, April 3rd.

What is this… anxious feeling? It’s been two years since I swore to myself I’ll get out.Eating just the ramen crumbles for the past 2 years makes my tummy hurt.My hair have gotten so long that I roll it up and use it as a pillow and I use my beard as a blanket.Ah… I want to wash.

Above ground, the sounds of war continue on.

Year 2062, May 1st.

I was almost dying today… but~~~~ From somewhereI followed the sound of running water andI found a hose with hot water. I can eat boiled ramen instead of dried ramen now.

Thank you God.

Year 2063, December 5th

Ah. It’s so cold. It must be winter. Fortunately, I could melt the snow and drink cold water instead of the hot water.When will the war end and when will I be able to get out of here… It’s really agonizing.Please help, God.

The food storage remaining is 34 boxes of ramen.

Year 2064, August 8th.

Oh, my… It’s summer already. I’m dying from heat.That bastardly hot water pours out now that it’s summer.Ah~~~ It’s hot. There’s not much ramen left. The hair is now 10 meters longso I wove it with the beard to make a tent.

I want to get out. I want to see the wife………… Wife.. Are you even alive?

Year 2064, October 1st.

The ramen have run out. Sigh…………….I guess I die now. I’m getting faint.. Mmm… Oh~!!From somewhere, I hear cries of help. Ah… I hear it every day these days.Am I hallucinating……..? Will I fall just like this.

The remaining food is 0 ramen.

Year 2064, October 23rd.

I’m now a goner…… I couldn’t escape the 400 meters undergroundand I persisted for 4 years… The ramens that protected me andthe hot water that tortured me, Goodbye, I’m going……….Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see something shiny over there. What is it….?This is… the belt I got as a present from Jungmin-ssi……Really.. It reminds me of the old days. Sigh……………. If I had married Jungmin-ssi then,It wouldn’t have come to this at least….. Ah~~~~ Is this where my destiny ends…?But is that a saving light….? A rope is coming down.

I’m losing my consciousness….. Losing… los..ing……………..

Her Diaries.

Year 2060, Febuary 6th.

Today, I put enough explosives around Hyunjoong-ssi’s house to make the house collapse about 400 metersand now I’m really tired. Mmmm…. I’m sorry but..For betraying me… He needs to pay….. Hehe.I’m hungry. I should order some Chinese food for night snacks~~~Mmm.. 435-3*** ~~~ Hello? is that Myungwonkwan?Ah, right~~~ I’m in Japan now……. Mmmm… But I’m hungry….

I guess I’ll simply have to cook some ramen in the bathtub.

Year 2060, March 26th.

I bought a bit of land and the TV station… and broadcasted in this district that there’s a World War 3.The land too… I bought the whole district.It’s okay since I still have money I made in Dubai… ^^Heheheh… Today, I kidnapped Hyunjoong-ssi’s wife and hit her a few timesAnd she says she’s leaving for Korea because she’s scared. So I… sent her there by express post.I recorded her crying too… Should I start the fireworks now…?3….2…..1… Ah, right… before I do that, I should eat rice with the remaining broth in the bathtub~~^^@#$%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%#@#%$@%#

Ah~~ That was good. Nos.. 3…2…1… Mmm. As expected, with the land sinking, Hyunjoong-ssi goes down too. kk.

Year 2062, April 5th.

I’ve been watching with a telescope and… Mmmm.. Hyunjoong-ssi’s hair’s gotten much longer so he uses it as a pillow to sleep.. kkHis survival abilities are the best. ^^ As expected of my ideal man. ^^But is it really okay to keep living just eating ramen…? I should send him some hot water tomorrow.

Today, I’ll shoot my gun near the hole when I read.. to go with the World War 3 atmosphere. ^^

Year 2063, December 24th.

Mmmm…. Really to that extent… Hmm… So tenacious. As expected of my ideal man…^^Today is Christmas eve and I want to give a present to Hyunjoong-ssi.…I didn’t have anything to give, so I’ll just give him lots of hot water~~^^Let’s open up the faucet a bit~~^^ Please accept, here goes the hot water~~~Ah, it’s cold…………

It snowed a lot today… Hm… I should make some patbingsoo (shaved ice).. Ah.. Sounds yummy. ^^

Year 2064, September 24th.

It’s almost there now~~ I’ll throw the casette with the wife’s voice over~~there.kkk. He must be reaching the limit now~~~^^Hyunjoong-ssi. Keep going just a bit longer. I’m sorry. Aja, aja, fighting~~^^Ah, right. Today is Chuseok…. I should make rice cakes~~~ It’s bothersome..Today, I should just read a poem.Title.

Hole in ground.

That huge hole in groundYou’re not a hole in ground of vengeancebut love’s hole in ground.With my whole heart, hole in ground (goodungie) and not maggots (goodugie)I want to eat maggots too.

Mmm…… I should go eat maggots…..^^ Sounds yummy.. Hehe..

Year 2064, October 22nd.

The last stage, let’s throw the belt down~~ So he would miss me. ^^Shooo~~~~~~~~~ Ahh~~~ It’s going down so well.If you regret and think of me after looking at the belt, I’ll pull you up.10 minutes later…………..Wow~~ You’re regretting and missing me~~ I’ll pull you up now.

Hold this rope~~~ honey~~~^^

When he opened his eyes, Jungmin-ssi was smiling……………He cried as he told Jungmin that he loves her and the two got married.He has now become a great businessmen in ramen business and made lots of money

and bought lots of land and……..

is collecting weapons.